Who do you refer to as your friends? Is it the individual who spends the most time with you? Or the person who is always there in times of trouble? Is that a real good definition of a friend or only a construed meaning of what a real friend should be?
And that won’t change the answer you have inside your own thoughts. What do you really feel a real friend is, what do you think yourself a true friend to be.
Reason why I bring this up because, someone I once thought to be a good friend of minewhen I actually paid close attention too, wasn’t a very good friend to me. My definition of a friend is someone who has similar views and beliefs close to your own. Someone you can relate to and who you think understands how you feel.
To further elaborate on this, a friend should be a give-and-take kind of connection, and not solely taking or giving, but it must be equal on both sides of the spectrum. Without this equilibrium someone is being taken advantage of, in which unfortunately a lot of mistake a friendship to be and believe that is how it ought to be.
Additionally a friend should be one to encourage and support a friend’s decision, if they understand and believe in their buddy’s choice. There’ll be times where friends will disagree, which is okay, everyone has the right to select for themselves. But to still believe in them, even though they don’t particular care for the cause, is exactly what a friendship is about.
In my particular situation I had a friend, let’s name him Bob to protect his name here. We talked and got to know each other better, and became decent friends, or so I believed. I soon found out how much of friend he was when he came in to live with us.
At first things seemed great, our agreement was for him to get back on his feet and find a place of his own. I know he needed to recoup some funds out of his job before getting a place so I knew it might be a few months or so before he could make some substantial steps forward. A few months passed and it seemed as if nothing more had happened, he had been making himself at home, and not much progress on trying to move forward. Started making him pay rent to help things speed along, and cover his expenses he’s accrued while in our home.
And this whole time, we were further from being connected than when we were not in exactly the same household. Come to find out he has been spending his time building another relationship after he emerged from the one he has been in. Wanted the best for him, but advised it may not be the perfect time to begin starting another relationship.
I don’t know how it came about, but it did. When you believe you’re friends you are sometimes blinded to their manipulated ways. Although it was short before they got their own place together it still happened.
To bring you to the present, Bob and his new woman, who I will call Bertha, awakened, and took all his stuff. Despite the fact that I cautioned him about the relationship to begin with, I was there for him. Now to back track a bit I got involved with my own company and brought him along too, because I knew it might help him as it has helped us. To be involved with my business and spend some more time with family, I felt it was time to switch tasks, I told Bob this and he said I was crazy and that my business will fail me.
Now I know that it seems as if I have drifted far from class here on whom our real friends are, but this example explains more than any words I could write, through personal experience. At this time I realized he was not my friend, because he didn’t support me, but more importantly he did not believe he would ever escape the 9 to 5 rat race they most people believe is the only option. I didn’t realize how much of a friend he wasn’t until I myself began to grow personally.
I say all this to say, our friends are those who beliefs amounts match up, and that they aren’t constantly taking, but giving and sharing. One who believes in you for better, and has attained it their selves, and gives you advice to succeed also. One who can raise you up, and see things for you until you can see it. One that can help you understand your full potential and help you realize you can have all you would like.
And friend, if you can relate to this story, and have gone through something similar, than I would like you to know you have a friend in me. Although I do not know youpersonally, or may never meet you, I believe in you. If you are looking for a way to do this for yourself than I will be more than delighted to help you get there. Or if you’re already on your way, keep going. The only way you could possibly fail is if you quit.